a job at last!

*W00T! I finally GOT A FREAKING JOB AS A TEMPORARY TEACHER at my alma mater!*

Notice that the title and the 1st sentence is just a spoiler for an April Fool's day. Yes i know it's just 1st of February, I'm not lost in time. Aight, time for me to sound like hardcore bloggers with lot of bad words like a little remix from Vegemaster and Pookyma. Well not forgetting Noc and Choya for their recent posts - Choya's F***@f***place.com. and Noc's 1st line in his holiday post - "F__K is the word I chose to start of this paragraph." Well, it's not wrong to be hardcore to let out some frustration, right?
ok, few weeks back after STPM, Mr. Chow Huo Kit has this stupid thought. He wants to be addressed as CIKGU CHOW. Sounds a bit sundoo, but yes, I've been thinking of going back to my school to get a part time job because i might want to be a teacher. HOHO. When i went to school to ask around in the happy month called December, the 1st person i saw was Puan Mok and Mr Anthony(Do not confuse Mr Anthony with Mr G.Anthony. Although they might have similarities in their pigments, G.Anthony was the famous hero teaching Math T in Science 3, right Reuben and Kah Whai?). Okay, back to my side of the story. When i asked Puan Mok abt how to get this job of being a temporary teacher, she said I have to look for Mr CBL. I was like w00t. He's kinda emo, but a very nice guy actually. And Mr Anthony and Puan Mok told me that if i need to apply through JPN (jabatan pendidikan something) through an office in opposite Citibank called PPD (pejabat pendidikan daerah). "O YES YES YES" and "CORRECT CORRECT" I sounded like because I'm a noob in the procedures. But the main hero to appear to make the climax on that day was Mr CBL. He was uber late, that's because I was Uber early(you know me being the early bird that gets the worm). Thanks to Puan Mok, she called Mr CBL telling that I was there waiting for him. Saved me a lot of time actually. If you're reading this, I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas, if I'm not too late for it. Haha. Thanks a lot for the call. Okay zoom, he arrived. When he was walking in from the front porch, he was like LEMA, I DAMN YENG. Ok, I agree. He didn't gel up his hair and he was looking serious. Well, i have to agree with his 'LEMA, I DAMN YENG' look.
"Morning sir, I'm Huo Kit, I just want to ask about the method to apply for temporary teaching in the school." That line was with a lot of enthusiasm in me. Play some good and loud music in your mind now.
"I'm sorry boy, but our school is currently full with teachers. But if you're interested in temporary teaching, you may apply through PPD. I might tell them to send you to SXI if we're lack of teachers. But I heard that primary schools are looking for teachers. You might want to try there." "Alright, Thank you sir." Now that was very disappointing after waiting for so long from 10 to 12. Cut the music in your mind now. In my mind I have these 3 words for myself 'Boo, you suck."(notice that BOO here does not refer to my dear friend 'booyahzz - hock')
Okay, time to get back to reality, screw all the expectations I had. A few weeks later, come a new month called 'Januari' in Malay. Call me up if you need me to translate this word. I was working in a computer fair for the company called HOUSE OF CONDOM. Nope, the company is called HOUSE OF NOTEBOOKS. You might want to go "Kit, WHAT A LAME JOKE". *tulan* Until now, I still did not receive my money from them yet. WTH, 200 bucks for standing so long and where's my money son? On the 3rd day of the fair I received a fresh hope call. W00T it was Mr Ong Kee Siong, one of my favorite teachers of all time. He said that MR CBL announced in the staff room about SXI wanting temporary teachers from those candidates that just took STPM. 'Hoho!' was the only word in my mind that whole day. And what's more, Mr Apongbalik told me that he received good news for me because our school wanted teachers. I had this passion and potential energy again. But the sad news is Robert's mom said our school had no space for Science and Mathematics anymore. Now that's sad. Pretty sad.
"O whatever it is just apply and see what happens, my boy," said myself to myself. Yeahs, the week after I worked for the House of Notebooks(a company that does not want to pay their temporary workers yet), I went to see Mr CBL again to get the form. Looks like I wasn't alone. Old time primary school buddy of mine Reuben was in this business too. Not forgetting people like Suzanne, Seow Yee, Edwin, Damien, Naga and Robert boarding in the same ship, applying for the title "CIKGU" in front of their name. Now Mr CBL said we that we do not need to go to PPD to apply. Just fill in the form, get an envelope and a few documents to get everything done. Sounds easy, but it's something I would label "FAN KUAI HEI" and "Ma 9 Fan." But I told myself, if I get the job, it's worth it for all the Fan Hei moments. Special thanks to Reuben again for the envolope he gave me and mom for the stamps and of course my fellow buddies(you know who you are) who have supported me.
Ok, what's next? Forms submitted. All I needed to do was to wait for a reply from JPN. Hoho, I waited for about 3 weeks. What I got from them was Nuts and not cookies, not rum, not raisin(reminds you of baskin 31 robbins?). I wanted to get a job and give up this temporary teaching. But at the same time, I received news from those in the same ship saying that they did not receive any news yet. Zoom came 31-01-2008. It was a Baskin day and I was like pretty free at home everyday. Suddenly, i got this message from Robert saying that PPD called him to attend a crap shit on 1st, which is today. Reuben sent me a message too. It seemed like only Reuben and I did not receive the call. If we're rejected, we're sad - the infamous line I started with Reuben. Ok, screw all of those calls. I had the mindset to get another job and f this teaching thing aside.
Today, in the morning, I received a call form Robert again, saying that there was this letter for me from JPN. I was like W00t. It was 10.30 and I have to blow myself up, take a quick shower and fly my PCS 754 to PPD to receive a letter from JPN. when I arrived, I was told to look for a fella named AKMAL. ok, time for a good question. Is AKMAL male or female? If you guys are with me, you'll sure go around ask for "ENCIK" AKMAL. When I was in the PPD office, there was only one person in the counter. And it was some 'pau thau' noob answering the phone like she's chatting to her boyfriend. It took me some time to wait for her. the PPD office was with an aroma called the body odour. NOTICE I USED AROMA. everyone's arm pit was sweating I guess. Another sniff of it could just send me to hell. O great, when that pau thau hanged up her phone, I asked "errrrr, cik, boleh saya jumpa ngan ENCIK AKMAL?" O CRAP, she pointed the LADY(gosh did I just say ENCIK AKMAL?) beside talking with 2 malay guys. O come on, I had to wait and I was late and I had to smell the office again.
OK, conversation over. OH wait, i meant conversation paused. She paused her flirting sessions, and entertained(not that entertaining) me, by just asking me to go upstairs to enter a room with a sign "MESYURAT SEDANG DIJALANKAN." Without asking and expecting anything from the notice of the sign, I just proceeded to 2nd floor. I was kinda rush because I was late. I knocked before I entered and WHOOPS, IT WAS A MEETING conducted by a sohai called MR LOH, yes MR LOH, not chee yun. Another GAU GAU mr loh previously from our school who was once a discipline sir who transfered to westlands. OK, he's a teacher right? why do i use SOHAI on him? when I came in the room with a sorry and a knock, he said "sorry is a useless word, said by people who want to free themselves from guilt." I sat quietly on a corner without knowing what I exactly needed to do. I thought it was an interview. Well, it's not. It's a talk for appointed temporary. O great, I wonder whose fault was it and who should say sorry for not informing me and stealing my time downstairs. damn SOHAI with a smiley face every time, even when he was being sarcastic. and his English was with a PAU THAU tone, making him sound like those who married pau thau that cut off his penis' skin.
After an hour in the room listening to that fella talking about his fame and pride, 13 years in sxi and a few years in westlands, he claimed that he "very famous" in both schools. I was just about to shit in my pants hearing that, because I am so scared of him. I DUN THINK HE EVEN KNOWS HOW TO USE BIT TORRENT TO DOWNLOAD HIS FAVORITE SHOWS. Ok fast forward. When he finished his bullshit, he gave out our letters and we were supposed to go back to school to report ourselves. I only knew that I was in the 2nd session of Mr Loh's bullshit because some of my friends went for the earlier session despite they were at school already when I was still in PPD. Thank God Reuben was late too. That's why he was with me in Mr Loh's bullshit talk show. Then I had to see AKMAL to take my attendance. Here's the catchy part.
I asked
"er, cik(yes I am using cik, not encik) mengapa saya tak receive you mia call untuk datang ke PPD, tapi saya ada letter?"
She answered
"saya SUDAH BUAT 120 CALLS KELMARIN. KAMU ADA BUKA KAU MIA HANDPHONE?"
I replied
"ada, selalu kat rumah. tak ada call pun. rumah pun tak ada"
She said
"Saya sudah buat banyak kerja. saya tak tau"
I replied
"tak pa."

120 CALLS? O RLY? ^V^

why did I reply "TAKPA"? because I was grateful that I got the job already and there's no need to ask why. Now u know how those pau thau do things. WHEN YOU ASK THEM WHY? THEY TELL U THAT THEY HAVE DONE A LOT. I am not being racist. But it's a fact that you all pau thaus do not do things well. How they cross the road, how they do things. Yes everyone's not perfect. That doesn't mean you can rape someone. FUCKING IRRESPONSIBLE act - "SAYA TAK TAU". NAH! .i.

Poof, Reuben and I went to school and I saw my old teachers. Actually it's kind of empty without them in our lives because they're not teaching us anymore. Pn Devi joked saying that I am going to be her FRIEND soon. A little wave and smile to Pn Tok and a few teachers changed my mood to a little. Ok, when I met CBL, we were waiting for Naga to arrive. Seems like Naga suffered the same irresponsible crap. He wasn't informed to take the letter. STUPID AKMAL. So we waited and waited until 2. After a few guidelines from Mr CBL, I was quite happy that I'm finally going yo start my work on Monday. O yea CBL gave us a few Godlike items - A few books and organizers for teaching.
Here's where my mood started to go super mad again. I was downstairs washing my aunt's car, so I could not get to my phone. And I received a voicemail form Mr CBL. It seemed that Mr Loh contacted Mr CBL saying that Damien, Naga and I was supposed to be in the 2nd batch of temporary teachers. What I have to do now is to surrender all those items back to Mr CBL and get my ass back to PPD to see Mr Loh again. I might not be getting Sxi as my working place. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MAN? AM I NOT GETTING THE JOB? Is there a strong feel anymore if I don't get to teach at my own school?
The bottom line is, fuck those PAU THAU workers, including Mr Loh(Pau Thau-to-be). I received 2 irresponsible screw-ups already. Mr Loh is fucking GG when he says "I WILL ALWAYS TELL PEOPLE TO THINK WITH THEIR BRAINS WHEN THEY USE THE WORD SORRY." Well, I think you should get a new word to say it to me instead. Here's a good line for you PAU THAU retarded workers - YOU CAN SUCK MY CANDY CANE!

*oh, in case you retarded pau thaus workers want to tell me "HEY KIT, WHY SO DOWN? HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

HAPPY NEW LAN LA!
HAPPY
HAPPY!
HAPPY POKKAI!
(here's another side of me that you will never see on public; credits to hock for teaching me how to respond a happy-new-year greeting)

when you ever see a PAU THAU WORKER, all you need to do is to ask yourself a question which is-

CAN I TRUST THIS BOBO?
a typical AKMAL that might screw your life
A bobo from the woods. You don't want her to be your wife. You don't want her as your mom or your playmate. You don't want her to wrap you up with what she's wearing on her head.
ARHHH! run b4 they eat and wrap you up. NOP, they're not related to me. But can you spot any roses between these 3 thorns? ABSOLUTELY NOT.
An "astronaut" without the glass walking on earth. The word "astronaut" can be replaced by "space traveler" or "FAI CHAI"