Was It a Dream?

Okay, this week kind of sucked for me. It's mainly due to results. To those who have done really well and to those who are satisfied with what you have got for yourself, congratulations to each and every one of you; sincerely from me. For me, I did okay, enough for me to enter the local universities, but I'm of course not one of those with the priority to get the course I want.

I am very disappointed with my physics actually. Uber disappointed. Never expected a B because all the while I have been falling in love with it. Generally, when something you always think that you can score disappoints you, there's nothing much that can be done actually, but to get over with it. I have done my very best. But I still can't digest it nicely. Maybe you all will say things like "Kit, I think I did worse," or maybe "shut up man, you can enter the universities already, GOOD ENOUGH." I'm so sorry that I complained about this. However, part of me still can't overcome this entirely.

Actually, the 1st stage you need to go through when you receive your results is your own expectations and yourself, NOT how many candidates you beat, NOT how much effort you have put in, NOT what others think about you and certainly NOT how many get straight As. What do you want to get actually? As? Bs? or you don't want to see Cs or lower grades? Or you don't want to fail at all? Or all you want is just a licence to enter university? or maybe all you want is to get a good course or you just want your type of course? Stop reading continuously from this line. Give yourself a few seconds to reflect. Ask yourself. Have you done your best? What do you expect from yourself?

A Venn diagram. Not going to remind you about the horrible maths paper. But to tell you how my brain is thinking. Like I always say, expectations don't always meet/intersect with reality.

If you had expectations in the beginning before the examination, then you're really serious about your education. That means your brain was in the MAROON region, aiming high for something, which is a very good way to start things out. During Tuesday, if you experienced this change -the MAROON region turning into the YELLOW region, that means you're a happy person now, reading over here. Everything you wanted came to you. Your hard work pays off. But for those who did NOT experience the change of regions since Tuesday, I bet you still have a lot of pain in you, because you did not get what you wanted. I am one of them, are you? For those who did not have any expectations, I'm happy for you if you get good results. I'm happy for you too if you just did ok. That's because you will never hurt yourself over some STPM results matter. Or maybe what you expected was something that will meet with reality sooner or later. Maybe in a few more months when Uni opens? Maybe in a few months or years time. Come and tell me once you're happy with things. I'll give you a direct high 5.

I'll emphasize on those who are feeling very miserable now. I always feel that I have done a lot. Yes, a lot. Being one of the top boneheads in class gives me a lot of confidence. Even Mr Teoh told me that he expected an A, not an A- for me in physics. Well, everything did not work as expected, I got a B+. Not that bad. But it is just that I did not get what I want. You can tell me things like "Kit, I think my Chemistry will get C; I'm ok with it, but I just don't want to see a C in my results." It's your expectations which are playing your mind, my friends. You wanted more than a C. You wanted more. Me too. I wanted more. I feel the same way. So what do we do now? Cry? Get a heartache for days? I have been trying to sleep things off recently. I feel that I can't do it. I kept asking myself. Was it a dream? Was it a dream? Is this the evidence that proves it? Is the results slip that I got an evidence that tells me that things did not go as I expected? Yes. I'm sorry to tell you this. Whatever you get in the results slip says it all, not unless you want to pay 50 bucks to remark that damn paper. There are 3 options to overcome this disappointment you have in you. #1: ACCEPT REALITY, face it and find a way out. #2: Continue to moan, continue to cry, continue to sleep things off like an idiot. #3:Commit suicide, end you life, be EMO, see you in hell. Option 2 and 3 are not options actually. They are just pathways to hell. You have no choice. Option 1. FACE IT. I know it doesn't sound easy. I am still the process of facing things. I was with Option 2. There's no point doing it. Unless you want to be a FAI CHAI forever. What's done is done. I'm not being harsh here. I'm not forcing you. The choice is yours. That's what I always tell myself since Tuesday.

I have a lot more to worry than just not getting an A in my bloody Physics. What we need now, is a mindset of what we want to do in the future. The next test is what you choose. Courses. When it comes to this, I am really lost. Lost in hell actually. What we want is a job that guarantees our future. When you earn 2k per month, you can tell yourself that you can live a normal life. When you earn 4k per month, you can start a small family. When you earn 6k per month, you're closer to being a millionaire if you count nicely. When you earn 10k per month, YOU CAN RETIRE EARLY. Haha! It's still a fantasy. We still have a few days left to make up our mind. If your results can't get you into the course you want to take, do not feel that it's the end. Get yourself another option. There are a lot of paths. You can try to apply. Trying is telling you that you have a chance. Not trying is telling you that you have no chance. So why not be wise, and take some risk. But if you're a HUAN, then you suck because you can enter Uni easily. Newsflash: DAP just won Penang.

Consult Miss PILIH(Pillay) to know how to PILH your course. Good idea if you're lost. Don't be shy to ask. You'll know what you can PILIH soon.

Back to what I was saying. It's not the end of the world by receiving bad results. There are many things more to life than studies. In fact, only 10 to 20% of your studies are used when you work. YOU DON'T USE ALL YOUR KNOWLEDGE AT ONCE. If you want to earn a lot and be somebody sooner or later, YOU NEED NOT BE A TOP SCORER. I can say this again and again. YOU NEED NOT BE A TOP SCORER. Good news for non-top scorers. Actually things are just beginning. This quote is what I received and I edited from what I've read these few days. "What a caterpillar thinks is the end for him, is a beginning of a butterfly's life." It doesn't end here. The end of an end is a new beginning.

So, I am still having difficulties to heal. It takes time to recover. Everyone knows. But look forward to the future. Now we're already so far away from the day we started studying. Every struggle we have made. Every price that we have paid. We should not be ashamed of the person we're being today. Life is not a bed of roses but it's a struggle a person would have to take. There is no reason to let go of things and surrender. Tell me that your heart is a stronger than a fist. Tell me that your soul will rise and fight again! God has great plans for everyone. You need some time to realise it.

To those who have not been sleeping well since Tuesday, I hope you will feel better after reading this. I wish you all the best in the courses you people choose. Everyone makes mistakes. But we learn everyday from what we have done wrong. We learn. We don't have much time. So we just need to come out with a few decisions. I hope that you'll get the best offer around. I hope this post makes you recover from your disappointments.

p.s. This post is dedicated to my best friend who has always been there for me, my greatest buddies of all time, my family with their never ending support, and God.

I will get back to myself. I will rise again. It does not rain every day in my head. The sun will shine in me and you soon.